"welcome to the world of car ownership", he said
today being a bright and sunny sunday, i decided that it was a good time to wash bob for the first time. the numerous splatters of BIRDSHIT on his windscreen also helped. little did i know exactly what "carwash" in this household entails. at first my parents seemed unsadistic and very encouragingly took out carwashing liquid, sponges and a pail for me. all well and good. so i proceeded to soap and rinse bob industriously, but to my dismay i realised tt water does in fact leave waterMARKS all over the car which made it look even grosser than before. so i went to my father to ask him what i should do about this, and he showed me the window cleaner thing and left me to it again. so i cleaned all the windows and was suitably impressed and how nice and clear and gleaming they looked, i proudly told my father "IM DONE!" he did not seem very impressed, and i was soon to learn why. he came out to take a look and looking disdainfully at a window, said "is this really what you are happy with????". argh. so a few scrubs later he was finally satisfied with the window cleaning job.
then, he dropped a bombshell.
"great! you are half way there!"
whattttttttttttttttttttttttttt. i was all sweaty and tired already, but intrigued, i made the mistake of asking him what he meant. he gave me a crafty look and look out an insiduous looking bottle from his carwashing stuff box, and proceeded to show me the joys of car polishing. being the tricksy man he is, he polished one little corner of the front bonnet to show me HOW NICE A POLISHED CAR LOOKS, which was very nice indeed(of course). he then said "you see! so nice right!but its really up to you if you wanna do the whole car cos its really hard work" i swallowed the bait hook, line and sinker. surely i couldnt leave one little polished corner to show how UNpolished the rest of the car was!and surely i could not let the insinuation that maybe i did not love bob enough to polish him slide. so i set to work. and O.M.G. polishing a car is THE hardest work ever!by the time i did half of the car, my arm wanted to run away and hide in flabby arms land, but unfortunately they were (indirectly) attached to my brain, which kept repeating to itself, "if you're gonna do it, do it good!". i convinced myself that that was going to be my new motto for a non-quitter life and was indulging in daydreams where i would not be too lazy to do things, or where i would actually magiacally have amazing discipline and perseverance, and this kept my arm moving and moving and moving. so FINALLY, after about 2 hours of hard work, i was done! by this time my arm was so tired i could barely hold the car polish bottle up and thus proceeded to drop it (and break it. and spill polish everywhere. and get a big scolding. so much for being-an-adult and mature car ownership). daddy came out to inspect my finished work. "hmmmmm. quite good" raised my hopes but it was followed by a callous "hiyo this part. can tell once i feel it that its not done so well..." there is no justice in this world! my father is a slavedriver. he then proceeded to discover that i conveniently decided that the top of the car did not need a polish, because IF I CANT SEE IT, NOONE CAN, AND THATS THAT. he tried to guilt trip me again. but 2 hours older, and much wiser in car polishing-ness, i put my weary foot down and let him know it was quite enough for me thank you very much.
was rather proud of my gleaming baby until....
it started pouring.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my journey in pictures:
slavedriver and slave
polishing is gonna give me nightmares
beautiful bob! before he became SPONGE-BOB
then, he dropped a bombshell.
"great! you are half way there!"
whattttttttttttttttttttttttttt. i was all sweaty and tired already, but intrigued, i made the mistake of asking him what he meant. he gave me a crafty look and look out an insiduous looking bottle from his carwashing stuff box, and proceeded to show me the joys of car polishing. being the tricksy man he is, he polished one little corner of the front bonnet to show me HOW NICE A POLISHED CAR LOOKS, which was very nice indeed(of course). he then said "you see! so nice right!but its really up to you if you wanna do the whole car cos its really hard work" i swallowed the bait hook, line and sinker. surely i couldnt leave one little polished corner to show how UNpolished the rest of the car was!and surely i could not let the insinuation that maybe i did not love bob enough to polish him slide. so i set to work. and O.M.G. polishing a car is THE hardest work ever!by the time i did half of the car, my arm wanted to run away and hide in flabby arms land, but unfortunately they were (indirectly) attached to my brain, which kept repeating to itself, "if you're gonna do it, do it good!". i convinced myself that that was going to be my new motto for a non-quitter life and was indulging in daydreams where i would not be too lazy to do things, or where i would actually magiacally have amazing discipline and perseverance, and this kept my arm moving and moving and moving. so FINALLY, after about 2 hours of hard work, i was done! by this time my arm was so tired i could barely hold the car polish bottle up and thus proceeded to drop it (and break it. and spill polish everywhere. and get a big scolding. so much for being-an-adult and mature car ownership). daddy came out to inspect my finished work. "hmmmmm. quite good" raised my hopes but it was followed by a callous "hiyo this part. can tell once i feel it that its not done so well..." there is no justice in this world! my father is a slavedriver. he then proceeded to discover that i conveniently decided that the top of the car did not need a polish, because IF I CANT SEE IT, NOONE CAN, AND THATS THAT. he tried to guilt trip me again. but 2 hours older, and much wiser in car polishing-ness, i put my weary foot down and let him know it was quite enough for me thank you very much.
was rather proud of my gleaming baby until....
it started pouring.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my journey in pictures:
slavedriver and slave
polishing is gonna give me nightmares
beautiful bob! before he became SPONGE-BOB
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